Like most people, when I first heard Mike Jeffries' comments regarding why Abercrombie & Fitch doesn't sell larger sizes, I had a violent physical reaction that involved horrendous retching noises. (Ok, so in reality, maybe it was more like me just going "Really???! I'm posting this garbage to Facebook!") In case you've forgotten, probably the most disturbing comment was as follows:
But now that I've had some time to think about it, I started asking myself why I was so angry at what Mr. Jeffries had to say.
I mean - what's wrong with target marketing? I used to shop at the petite store because "normal" stores didn't cater to my abnormally short stature. Do I think the stores that specialize in selling to petite women are discriminatory and disgusting? No. Stores like Catherine's do the opposite, and cater to the larger sized woman. Having a specialty store that simply doesn't carry certain sizes in and of itself is really nothing new.
Being "exclusionary" in your marketing isn't the issue. So he doesn't sell large or plus sizes. Fine. I can accept that. You want your brand to be more expensive, so it's more of a "luxury" item only the more well-to-do kids can buy? Ok. Fine. That's been going on for generations. Don't like or agree with it necessarily - but I don't tend to go on rampages because Rolex sells watches I can't afford.
So why was I so angry?
As I thought about it more, I sadly realized, I was angry because what he said went beyond talking about just shirt sizes. It went beyond even the discussion between "thin vs. fat." It was his definition of who was "cool" and who wasn't that made me so mad. That his brand was only for the "cool" kids that he defined in a particular way. This made me angry because on the one hand - his statement was very true. On the other hand... it was so VERY false.
True, because unfortunately, our society actually DOES glorify and perpetuate exactly the kind of mentality Mr. Jeffries was talking about. We get judged on our looks. There's no denying that. Our high school students are raised in a culture that places far too much importance on their outer appearance and defines "beauty" by what we see on the cover of Vogue and Cosmo. The fashion industry and Hollywood have dictated for us what exactly a "beautiful" person is supposed to look like.
And we've bought into it. We've bought into exactly what Mr. Jeffries has said about our kids.
I know I did as a teen. I somehow thought beauty and popularity were wrapped up in a jeans size. If I could just be skinny enough... maybe, just maybe, that would make me somehow a "cool" person to hang around with. Truth be told, my senior year of high school, I could have easily fit into the clothing Mr. Jeffries sells. I was a slight 110 lb piece of nothing who was borderline anorexic. I typically skipped breakfast and lunch and would only eat enough at dinner to not make my parents suspicious. Even then, I tended to shove my mouth as full as I could of food, then run to the bathroom and spit it all out in the toilet without ever eating any of it. I spent most of my days with severe headaches and feeling sick and dizzy all the time because I was starving myself to try and fit some unrealistic definition of "beauty" that was related to what the scale told me. Eventually, I couldn't keep it up because not eating made me feel so horrible I could barely function. And my weight went up.
So naturally, hearing Mr. Jeffries talk about how only thin people were "cool" struck a deep chord with me. Because there was a time I believed that malarky. There was a time when I was a part of that social pecking order that determined who was in and who was out on arbitrary things like weight and designer clothes. Cool kids shopped at The Brass Buckle (before they dropped the Brass), Banana Republic, and The Gap (back when the Gap was actually considered "in.") Such were the A&F's of my high school days. There was a time when I believed that lie - because that lie has just enough truth to it that we, at least for a time, believed it. And it impacted our lives in the most unhealthy ways possible.
Funny thing, though. Being nearly anorexic, being able to fit into Mr. Jeffries clothing... it didn't make me any more popular than I had been at age sixteen when I weighed in twenty pounds heavier. I was just as unpopular and as much of an outcast at 110 as I was at 130. Weird reality...my personality was still my personality. I was still an introvert that people mistook as being snobbish and aloof. I liked science fiction and had a hard time relating to most kids my age. I didn't go out and party and was usually content to spend time at the library reading a good book instead of goofing around. I'm still far too serious and my sense of humor much too dry and sarcastic for many to appreciate right away. And I still don't relate well to that teenage mentality because I so hated it even when I was a part of it.
No the problem is not just whether I can fit into his clothes - I don't like his clothes anyway so I have never cared about that - it's do a I fit his standard definition for "coolness"? And why do I care how he defines what constitutes "cool."
This was the part that was so false in my view. He equated "coolness" with a jeans size - and how, exactly, do you quantify such a thing? Because it didn't work for me. All the Abercrombie & Fitch in the world on my starving little body wasn't going to suddenly catapult me into the arms of all the "cool" kids in high school.
So what I decided really made me mad isn't that Jeffries' statement doesn't reflect a perception and mentality that is prevalent in our society - it's that someone in his position, at his age, would be irresponsible and dumb enough to actually admit that he buys into it. That he not only buys into it - but that he perpetuates it... on purpose. He doesn't just target market to skinny kids - he tries to somehow equate "coolness" with something that SHOULDN'T and can't totally be quantified by a jeans size.
We rail against his statements because most of us, by his age, recognize the harm such a mentality wreaks upon our children. The dangerous things they will do to their bodies just to try and fit into a superficial, materialistic, horribly cold and messed up social system that defines American youth. Those of us who have come out on the other side and recognize it for what it was are appalled that ANY adult would come out and so brazenly state that they support the hell we went through as teenagers. That all-American, good looking kid with a great attitude who has lots of friends? Yeah, that's a small market, Mr. Jeffries. One student out of how many hundred students fit that bill? Target market away... but your definition is a VERY niche market.
And I'll be honest - those of us who are angry - yeah, we're angry because we weren't one of those cool kids he's talking about. We were the ones who were excluded. We're mad at how we were treated and how we were broken up into the "in" and the "out" kids. We're angry because Mr. Jeffries has just come right out and said - I don't want my clothes on YOU, you loser. And it isn't about the fact that I would want to wear his clothing - I don't, but there's something hurtful, no matter what, when someone flat out states they don't WANT you wearing their brand. It brings back for us every horrible thing that was ever said to us, every insecurity we ever had about ourselves. We're mad because we watch our own children struggle with exactly the same things we went through and we had so hoped for a better society and future for them. We're angry because everything he said epitomizes everything we've been trying to fight against our whole adult lives.
That human worth and value can be summed up by a number on a tag. Like cattle in a feed lot.
Because what we realized, on the other side of not being popular... was that, life was bigger than high school. That who we are and how we are defined can't be wrapped neatly in a designer t-shirt. We found other people - who were pretty darn cool and awesome - actually existed without all of those Hollywood and fashion industry-driven perceptions and we began to hang out with those people. Finally we realized we fit in somewhere that wasn't this place called "high school." And you know what... not once did I pay attention to what kind of clothing my friends wore. They were my friends... tall, short, fat, thin, Asian, black, white, male, female, Christian, Buddhist, Atheist, Agnostic... "cool" people, came in all shapes and sizes and it had nothing to do with what Vogue or Cosmo had to say. In fact, I believe I stopped looking at magazines like that all together by the time I hit college. We were more concerned about the final exams we were cramming for and finding our next opportunity for free food - those other considerations just evaporated.
So Mr. Jeffries... while others hate and revile you... I actually pity you. Somewhere along the line, you didn't grow beyond the absurdity of the high school stereotype and never had the privilege of getting to know that the woman who wears the XL shirt is not just someone with a great attitude - but she's developing the medication that might one day save your life. That guy you gave swirlies to in High School, runs his own fortune 500 company and vacations in Bermuda. That girl with the eating disorder - she's with the Peace Corps feeding the hungry.
I'm sorry Mr. Jeffries that you are stuck in all that teenage drama and apparently are continuing to live and perpetuate everything that is wrong about our society and wrong with our youth. I'm sorry your clothing line is a reflection of your own twisted belief system that purposely tries to define who is "cool" and who is not - who belongs and who doesn't - by size, weight, and clothing.
While one's religious affiliation doesn't determine whether or not we're appalled by Jeffries' statement - an atheist or Buddhist is likely to be just as outraged - as a Christian, I do find particular offense in this statement because as Christians, we're called to reach out to those who are part of the "outsiders" and the "outcasts." The "clothing" Jesus offers is made specifically for the "uncool" kids and people in our society. Because being a follower of Jesus isn't about excluding. It's about including. Our goal is not to haunt the person society has already kicked to the curb by reinforcing it with some idiot who says, "You don't belong. You shouldn't belong!" because you don't fit an arbitrary definition of what it means to "belong."
Our goal instead is to love and accept those who are on those fringes of society and let them know they are loved and cared for. That in God's kingdom, we all belong - no matter our size, weight or popularity. So thank goodness it isn't the Mike Jeffries of the world who ultimately define who belongs and who doesn't. We rail and we write these articles not because we want to continue to give Jeffries the attention he doesn't deserve, but because we want to make sure that our youth hear and understand... he does not get to define us. That his definition of "cool" - yeah, that's not cool.
That his definition is not our definition and our message is going to continue to be very different from the kind of message he spouts.
“In every school there are the cool and popular kids, and then there are the not-so-cool kids. Candidly, we go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don't belong [in our clothes], and they can't belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely.”I was appalled. And yes, I also had to chuckle and go "atta boy" to the guy who went around and bought up A&F clothing at all the Goodwill stores and gave them to the homeless living on Skid Row in LA (see video here).
But now that I've had some time to think about it, I started asking myself why I was so angry at what Mr. Jeffries had to say.
I mean - what's wrong with target marketing? I used to shop at the petite store because "normal" stores didn't cater to my abnormally short stature. Do I think the stores that specialize in selling to petite women are discriminatory and disgusting? No. Stores like Catherine's do the opposite, and cater to the larger sized woman. Having a specialty store that simply doesn't carry certain sizes in and of itself is really nothing new.
Being "exclusionary" in your marketing isn't the issue. So he doesn't sell large or plus sizes. Fine. I can accept that. You want your brand to be more expensive, so it's more of a "luxury" item only the more well-to-do kids can buy? Ok. Fine. That's been going on for generations. Don't like or agree with it necessarily - but I don't tend to go on rampages because Rolex sells watches I can't afford.
So why was I so angry?
As I thought about it more, I sadly realized, I was angry because what he said went beyond talking about just shirt sizes. It went beyond even the discussion between "thin vs. fat." It was his definition of who was "cool" and who wasn't that made me so mad. That his brand was only for the "cool" kids that he defined in a particular way. This made me angry because on the one hand - his statement was very true. On the other hand... it was so VERY false.
True, because unfortunately, our society actually DOES glorify and perpetuate exactly the kind of mentality Mr. Jeffries was talking about. We get judged on our looks. There's no denying that. Our high school students are raised in a culture that places far too much importance on their outer appearance and defines "beauty" by what we see on the cover of Vogue and Cosmo. The fashion industry and Hollywood have dictated for us what exactly a "beautiful" person is supposed to look like.
And we've bought into it. We've bought into exactly what Mr. Jeffries has said about our kids.
I know I did as a teen. I somehow thought beauty and popularity were wrapped up in a jeans size. If I could just be skinny enough... maybe, just maybe, that would make me somehow a "cool" person to hang around with. Truth be told, my senior year of high school, I could have easily fit into the clothing Mr. Jeffries sells. I was a slight 110 lb piece of nothing who was borderline anorexic. I typically skipped breakfast and lunch and would only eat enough at dinner to not make my parents suspicious. Even then, I tended to shove my mouth as full as I could of food, then run to the bathroom and spit it all out in the toilet without ever eating any of it. I spent most of my days with severe headaches and feeling sick and dizzy all the time because I was starving myself to try and fit some unrealistic definition of "beauty" that was related to what the scale told me. Eventually, I couldn't keep it up because not eating made me feel so horrible I could barely function. And my weight went up.
So naturally, hearing Mr. Jeffries talk about how only thin people were "cool" struck a deep chord with me. Because there was a time I believed that malarky. There was a time when I was a part of that social pecking order that determined who was in and who was out on arbitrary things like weight and designer clothes. Cool kids shopped at The Brass Buckle (before they dropped the Brass), Banana Republic, and The Gap (back when the Gap was actually considered "in.") Such were the A&F's of my high school days. There was a time when I believed that lie - because that lie has just enough truth to it that we, at least for a time, believed it. And it impacted our lives in the most unhealthy ways possible.
Funny thing, though. Being nearly anorexic, being able to fit into Mr. Jeffries clothing... it didn't make me any more popular than I had been at age sixteen when I weighed in twenty pounds heavier. I was just as unpopular and as much of an outcast at 110 as I was at 130. Weird reality...my personality was still my personality. I was still an introvert that people mistook as being snobbish and aloof. I liked science fiction and had a hard time relating to most kids my age. I didn't go out and party and was usually content to spend time at the library reading a good book instead of goofing around. I'm still far too serious and my sense of humor much too dry and sarcastic for many to appreciate right away. And I still don't relate well to that teenage mentality because I so hated it even when I was a part of it.
No the problem is not just whether I can fit into his clothes - I don't like his clothes anyway so I have never cared about that - it's do a I fit his standard definition for "coolness"? And why do I care how he defines what constitutes "cool."
This was the part that was so false in my view. He equated "coolness" with a jeans size - and how, exactly, do you quantify such a thing? Because it didn't work for me. All the Abercrombie & Fitch in the world on my starving little body wasn't going to suddenly catapult me into the arms of all the "cool" kids in high school.
So what I decided really made me mad isn't that Jeffries' statement doesn't reflect a perception and mentality that is prevalent in our society - it's that someone in his position, at his age, would be irresponsible and dumb enough to actually admit that he buys into it. That he not only buys into it - but that he perpetuates it... on purpose. He doesn't just target market to skinny kids - he tries to somehow equate "coolness" with something that SHOULDN'T and can't totally be quantified by a jeans size.
We rail against his statements because most of us, by his age, recognize the harm such a mentality wreaks upon our children. The dangerous things they will do to their bodies just to try and fit into a superficial, materialistic, horribly cold and messed up social system that defines American youth. Those of us who have come out on the other side and recognize it for what it was are appalled that ANY adult would come out and so brazenly state that they support the hell we went through as teenagers. That all-American, good looking kid with a great attitude who has lots of friends? Yeah, that's a small market, Mr. Jeffries. One student out of how many hundred students fit that bill? Target market away... but your definition is a VERY niche market.
And I'll be honest - those of us who are angry - yeah, we're angry because we weren't one of those cool kids he's talking about. We were the ones who were excluded. We're mad at how we were treated and how we were broken up into the "in" and the "out" kids. We're angry because Mr. Jeffries has just come right out and said - I don't want my clothes on YOU, you loser. And it isn't about the fact that I would want to wear his clothing - I don't, but there's something hurtful, no matter what, when someone flat out states they don't WANT you wearing their brand. It brings back for us every horrible thing that was ever said to us, every insecurity we ever had about ourselves. We're mad because we watch our own children struggle with exactly the same things we went through and we had so hoped for a better society and future for them. We're angry because everything he said epitomizes everything we've been trying to fight against our whole adult lives.
That human worth and value can be summed up by a number on a tag. Like cattle in a feed lot.
Because what we realized, on the other side of not being popular... was that, life was bigger than high school. That who we are and how we are defined can't be wrapped neatly in a designer t-shirt. We found other people - who were pretty darn cool and awesome - actually existed without all of those Hollywood and fashion industry-driven perceptions and we began to hang out with those people. Finally we realized we fit in somewhere that wasn't this place called "high school." And you know what... not once did I pay attention to what kind of clothing my friends wore. They were my friends... tall, short, fat, thin, Asian, black, white, male, female, Christian, Buddhist, Atheist, Agnostic... "cool" people, came in all shapes and sizes and it had nothing to do with what Vogue or Cosmo had to say. In fact, I believe I stopped looking at magazines like that all together by the time I hit college. We were more concerned about the final exams we were cramming for and finding our next opportunity for free food - those other considerations just evaporated.
So Mr. Jeffries... while others hate and revile you... I actually pity you. Somewhere along the line, you didn't grow beyond the absurdity of the high school stereotype and never had the privilege of getting to know that the woman who wears the XL shirt is not just someone with a great attitude - but she's developing the medication that might one day save your life. That guy you gave swirlies to in High School, runs his own fortune 500 company and vacations in Bermuda. That girl with the eating disorder - she's with the Peace Corps feeding the hungry.
I'm sorry Mr. Jeffries that you are stuck in all that teenage drama and apparently are continuing to live and perpetuate everything that is wrong about our society and wrong with our youth. I'm sorry your clothing line is a reflection of your own twisted belief system that purposely tries to define who is "cool" and who is not - who belongs and who doesn't - by size, weight, and clothing.
While one's religious affiliation doesn't determine whether or not we're appalled by Jeffries' statement - an atheist or Buddhist is likely to be just as outraged - as a Christian, I do find particular offense in this statement because as Christians, we're called to reach out to those who are part of the "outsiders" and the "outcasts." The "clothing" Jesus offers is made specifically for the "uncool" kids and people in our society. Because being a follower of Jesus isn't about excluding. It's about including. Our goal is not to haunt the person society has already kicked to the curb by reinforcing it with some idiot who says, "You don't belong. You shouldn't belong!" because you don't fit an arbitrary definition of what it means to "belong."
Our goal instead is to love and accept those who are on those fringes of society and let them know they are loved and cared for. That in God's kingdom, we all belong - no matter our size, weight or popularity. So thank goodness it isn't the Mike Jeffries of the world who ultimately define who belongs and who doesn't. We rail and we write these articles not because we want to continue to give Jeffries the attention he doesn't deserve, but because we want to make sure that our youth hear and understand... he does not get to define us. That his definition of "cool" - yeah, that's not cool.
That his definition is not our definition and our message is going to continue to be very different from the kind of message he spouts.
